"Okay," he said.

He was tall, and lanky, and where he walked, I wanted to follow.

I don't want to forget him now, but the thought of hanging on hurts too much. It's painful, but the only thing that's able to relieve me is knowing that I made a decision.

"I did it. I did it. I did it," I chanted.

It's going to feel so quiet without him. Was it worth it? Absolutely. The sadness I feel knowing he sat silently through it all.

"Okay," he said.

That was all. And it's okay.

The disappointment and tears, yes, worth every minute I got to spend with him. Every minute he reached across the table to hold my hand. Every time he leaned in to kiss my forehead. Every time he held me close. Every time he made me feel that everything was going to be okay--even if he knew better.

He taught me how to let go a little more. To allow someone in.

I got hurt again. And it'll happen again and again and again. I have to schedule for this and recognize that indeed, it's making me the person I want to be. The person I always knew I could be. The person who deserves and gives and receives. A person who will someday be a hero.

I'll save Matt a dance. I'll write his story so that I won't allow myself to forget.

I'm happy I made this decision--and now I am freer. Freer to give my heart to the next man who will shape it more. Freer to recognize that there's so much more than me, and I.

He was beautiful. His jawline was fragile. His crooked teeth were charming with just a few out of line making it unbelievably sexy. It exposed his vulnerability--to know that something so prominent was aesthetically flawed. He smiled at me anyway. It made him solidly handsome.

He was tall, and lanky, and where he walked, I wanted to follow.